My Confessions

~ (5/16/08) I clean my children's ears with Q-tips and then lie to the ear doctor about it.
~ (5/17/08) I have had a lot of stress lately and am breaking out like a teenager....so, smart little me decided to go to the tanning bed to "help" my skin. Needless to say, I got fried on my underside. The worse part is, I am starting to get really itchy and I have to teach the lesson in Relief Society tomorrow...I might be doing a nervous, itchy dance the whole time!!
~ (5/18/08) When we had a nose-picking epidemic at our house, I finally resorted to telling my son that I would take him to the doctor to get a "booger shot" to make him stop. Amazingly, problem solved!!
~ (5/19/08) I think all of my neighbors hate me!! We are watering our garden and you can smell it at least a mile away!! We are also attracting some serious flies...you can here the flies before you can even see the garden. Does anyone know how long pig poo smells?? We would all really love to know!!
~ (5/20/08) I feel very inadequate serving in the Relief Society....when did it stop being an "old lady" calling??
~ (5/21/08) Today, I was not nice to a lady that works at the bank.
~ (5/22/08) Sometimes I am really tempted to throw out a swear word in a conversation just for the shock effect.
~ (5/23/08) I am a mean mommy. Lately, Maddie has been really bad about pulling out her earrings. I mean, we couldn't even make it anywhere with her earrings in. I have quite the collection of matchless earrings. So, yesterday, I bought another pair of piercing studs and actually put them in at the store. Needless to say, she finally got one out a couple of hours later. But, not without injury. I found the earring and put it right back in the hole as she said "Ow, Ow, Ow..." the whole time. This morning, I was impressed to see that both studs were still in. Yes, there are scabs on both holes, but I think this battle has been won. I never saw her touch them today. Is this truly a victory?? I am not so sure anymore, I am feeling somewhat guilty about it now....
~ (5/25/08) Okay, now I am having some serious remorse about being the earring Nazi!!!
~ (5/26/08) My children are the greatest gifts that I have ever been given.
~ (5/31/08) I am tempted to be violent with people when they are mean to my children. Today at the TKD tournament, a kid was talking smack to Kaleb about sparring him. I wanted to smack him upside his big toothy grin....but, I refrained...
~ (6/04/08) When I was seven and my family was travelling cross-country, we stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities. We had just come back from the Philippines, so I still could not read English very well. To make a long story short, I mistakenly went into the men's restroom. I had never seen a urinal before...these Americans had many "crazy things" so I proceeded to use the funny potty. I remember climbing up, sitting on it and going, the whole time worrying that I was going to slip off and fall. I don't know how long afterwards till I recognized my error...we're probably talking years here.....
~ (6/05/08) Once, I decided to "trim" my eyebrows with the hair clippers. NOT a great idea! My eyebrows were pretty much non-existent for a good month. One morning Autumn saw me without makeup on and asked what happened to my eyebrows. I was too embarrassed to admit my folly and told her "some stupid lady at the salon over-trimmed them." I don't think she ever knew that the "stupid lady" was ME!!
~ (06/06/08) Apparently, I look OLD for my age. I have a sister that is two and a half years older than me; growing up, everyone always mistook me for the oldest. When Jeff and I were still dating (I was 19), we went to Vegas and to Wendover. I played slots and watched Jeff play some table games...I was NEVER carded! And , to make matters worse: about 7 or 8 years ago (I was still under 25) Autumn and I took turns watching each other's kids while we went and tanned. One morning, I went in first. When Autumn went in after, the sweet little receptionist told Autumn, "Oh, your mom was just in here." RRRRRR!
~ (6/07/08) Just a little F.Y.I.: One should NEVER pluck a nose hair!! Last night I was tweezing my eyebrows and saw one and thought I'd "just take care of it" with the tweezers, too. It brought tears to my eyes!! And today any time I have to blow or wipe my nose it still smarts!!
~ (6/09/08) Today I got a little choked up taking apart Maddie's crib to make way for her "big girl bed." Where did these two years go?? I can still remember the excitement of setting the crib up and getting her room ready when I was pregnant. I'm a little sad that this chapter is closing in my life....
~ (6/11/08) The first boy that tried to kiss me on the mouth got a little surprise....as he was closing in, I turned my face to the side and he slimed my cheek. ICK!!
~ (6/14/08) Today one of my boys put a booger on his brother just to irritate him. After telling him it was inappropriate and not to do it again, I had to lock myself in the laundry room to have a good laugh about the smug look on the guilty party's face!
~ (6/17/08) On Sunday, I decided to try on a denim skirt that has been in my "does not fit" pile. I thought: "Hey, it's a skirt, surely I can get it on and it will look decent...." First, I tried to pull it up my legs up to my hips...got to my thighs and it was a no-go. Then, I had the bright idea to try to put it on over my head.....I got it over my head wriggling the whole time trying to get it to keep going south....I wound up with the slits pasted onto my hips and the waist as tight as it could possibly go around my chest. Once I finally gave it up, I had a slight problem: What scoots down does not like to scoot back up. I was a little nervous that I would have to break out the scissors....I had to do some serious tugging and pulling to get this sucker off....I was seriously sweating by the time I pulled it over my head. Now, the skirt finds itself in the "never gonna try that one on again" box and it will hopefully find a new, skinnier owner.
~ (6/19/08) I am very insecure....sometimes I wonder if people really like me for me...
~ (6/20/08) I have "tattoo-er's regret." Every time Maddie sees my pink flower and points and says "pwetty," I want to say: "No, Honey, Mommy's naughty."

~ (6/23/08) I once hit a parked car in a parking lot. I drove about a hundred yards before I turned around to check out the damage. I had broken the tail light. I left a note on the windshield and was really scared for the owner's to call me. As it turned out, I actually knew the owner of the car. She used to be a swim aerobics instructor that I had had several summers ago. She was really nice about the whole situation. I was really glad that I did the right thing even though I had a little devil sitting on my shoulder for those 100 yards...

~ (6/24/08) When Maddie was first born, she had the longest fingernails. I promptly cut them all off so she wouldn't scratch herself. Little did I know that the fingernails on a newborn are still attached to the skin...she had a sore on the tip of every single finger...so much for trying to protect her from harm:(.

~ (6/25/08) I am ridiculously cheap sometimes. Yesterday, I did a Mary Kay makeover at my house. After everyone left, I scraped the leftover mineral powder off of my "Sample Tray" into my own mineral powder....can't waste that speck!! Also, I bought the skin care regimen....but, I am still using the samples that I got a week ago until they are gone before I break open my new bottles... I could go on and on and on.... Please refer to this past post for further evidence: http://farmerhalliday.blogspot.com/2008/04/compare-to.html

~ (6/26/08) I am getting pressured by Mary Kay right now to join their "Winning Team." I don't feel like it is the right time in my life to add something else, but I think they are starting to wear me down. Someone help me have a stronger backbone!!

~ (6/28/08) Every time I get my hair chopped off, I have serious regrets later. This last time, Jeff kept telling me he didn't want me to do it because he didn't want to hear me complaining after. I am just glad my hair is long enough to go in a ponytail now!!

~ (6/29/08) I am a "Lotion Queen." My hands are always dry!! Also, I have found that I have to put lotion on them so that I do not chew my nails. Weird, huh??

~ (6/30/08) I am sooooo grateful for Crayola Washable Markers. Today, I was being lazy laying in my bed reading while the boys played the computer and Maddie watched cartoons...I thought. Earlier, I had gotten down the markers for Garet to color with, Maddie had gotten a hold of the purple one and colored her hands, face, knees, many walls, the wood floor, and my kitchen counter tops. I did NOT take any pictures of it because I am so embarrassed that she did this while I was lounging in my bed oblivious. I am soooo glad that she only colored where I could easily wipe it clean. This is a new experience for us!!

~ (7/01/08) I am a library book hoarder. Every time I hear of a book I want to read, I either go to the library and get it or put myself on the wait list to get it. I currently have a pile of six library books sitting on my dresser waiting to be read.

~ (7/03/08) I am a clean freak...every night before I go to bed my kitchen has to be clean, living room pillows in order on couches, every thing picked up from floors (ie. toys), etc. When I leave my house to go on a trip, it is even worse. I always think if something happens to us or someone breaks in to my house, it needs to be clean...laundry is completely done, bed sheets changed, freshly vacuumed, DUSTED, etc. It IS always nice to come home to a "perfect house," but I know that I drive Jeff crazy in the process.

~ (7/06/08) Our Ward gave out big candy bars for Father's Day. Jeff stuck his in my church bag. I have eaten 3/4's of it....I did finally put the rest in the pantry so that he has a chance at enjoying the rest of it....that is, unless I get that chocolate craving again before he finds where I put it....

~ (7/08/08) Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's off to Girls' Camp I go!! I am looking forward to a "Mommy Break" even though it's out roughing it in the woods (WITHOUT a shower for 3 days). But, I know that by tomorrow night I will be missing my kids terribly!

~ (7/11/08) I think I was born in this day and time because the Lord knew I wouldn't be a very nice person without the modern conveniences of the 21st century.

~ (7/12/08) Exercising sucks!! But, it sure is nice when it is over!

~ (7/13/08) Sometimes I hope that I have tend to my children in the hallway or nursery, so I can gab instead of going to my church meetings.

~ (7/15/08) Once upon a time, when I was eleven, there was this boy I knew named Tommy. Tommy thought he knew everything and that he was always right. Tommy had a pack of Ex-lax one day. He swore up and down that it was a type of candy to get rid of gas. I tried to tell Tommy that it was not, but he wouldn't believe me. So, being the sweet little girl that I was, I dared Tommy to eat the whole pack of chocolates. I did not see Tommy for two whole days after.

~ (7/17/08) I am so glad that I get to wake up every morning to a new day to try to do better: to be a better mom, wife, homemaker, sister, friend, example, etc.....

~ (7/21/08) I am the biggest night owl. It is bad...I am tired all day long and then around 9:00pm I perk right up and I'm ready to go for hours....It's usually when I catch up on everything that I haven't gotten to during the day...But, it makes it really HARD to get out of bed in the morning!!

~ (7/23/08) One morning, my dog Gizmo was laying in bed with me under the covers. He threw-up. I just bunched the covers around where he threw-up and continued laying in bed till I was ready to get up.

~ (7/24/08) When I was little and we occasionally went to the July 24th celebrations in South Carolina, I never really understood what "pioneers" were. I just thought the Church was really cool to have a big party around my birthday. I hope my children understand more than I did...

~ (7/27/08) Today at Church a little boy asked me: "When is the baby coming out of your tummy?" I am so working extra hard on my crunches from here on out!!

~ (7/29/08) I have always HATED my curly hair. But, the last couple of days I have been fixing it curly. Amazingly, it is really fast and easy to fix. I might be changing my opinion of my hair....BUT, don't tell my Mom...she has always tried to push me to wear it curly...

~ (8/04/08) I have a secret desire to be a lunchroom lady.... to sport the hairnet and sing to the kids as I spoon on some sloppy joe's...

~ (8/06/08) I am a "smart alec." When I was little, I remember my mom always saying: "If you sweep the corners, the middle will take care of itself." So, of course, I would sweep out all of the corners and the middle DID NOT take care of itself....

~ (8/09/08) F.I.F.O. rules my life. (For those of you that do not know: "First In First Out." I learned it when I worked in the fast food industry.) I rotate my food, dishes, and CLOTHES according to this....many of you may have your closets "color coordinated;" well, mine is in FIFO order. For some reason, I have to rotate my clothes for "even" wear, too....

~ (8/14/08) Yesterday, I went to Wal-mart to get groceries. I felt weird the whole time there. In the check-out line, I finally realized that I felt over-dressed....it seems like since school has been out, I have always gone to Wally early in the morning wearing yogas, a t-shirt, hair in un-brushed pony sans bra and make-up....

~ (8/20/08) This past Saturday, I went to a yard sale that had clearance items from Claire's. As a kind of joke, I put on a pair of white sunglasses. When it was time to leave, I bought them. They were only $0.50. Well, my "old faithfuls" broke, so I've been driving around sporting my new shades. Yesterday, I got cat-called numerous times by teenage boys walking down the street. I think I'm loving my new shades!! White sunglasses = Teenage Babe!!

~ (8/25/08) I might be considered a "dog abuser" after this: Every time I kill a fly and it lands on the floor, I try to get my dog to eat it so that I don't have to pick it up.

~ (8/27/08) I just discovered how versatile duck tape is. I had a carpet that kept sliding around on my floor; solution - duck tape. My full length mirror keeps swinging on the door all of the time; solution - duck tape!!

~ (8/28/08) I love subbing in Special Ed!! I have played Uno at least ten times and I've caught up looking at everyone's blogs AND I'm getting paid!!

~ (9/01/08) I forgive people....BUT, I totally hold grudges. Does that really count??

~ (9/02/08) My neighbor is on a diet and often cleans out all of her goodies to me. Last time, she gave me some yummy cheesecake ice cream. I hid it in the bottom of my deep freeze...okay, actually in a bag under the meat...so Jeff wouldn't find it. I ate it 3 different times before I finally came clean and told him we had it.

~ (9/08/08) I sometimes flat out lie to people to avoid hurting their feelings. Is it better to hurt feelings when the lie is NOT life and death??

~ (9/11/08) I drink more diet soda than anything else. Every six months when I go to the dentist and get my teeth cleaned and checked, the dental hygienist has to polish away the soda stain on the inside of my bottom teeth.

~ (9/18/08) Yesterday, I was behind a car with a license plate cover that said: "I go TOPLESS!" I started thinking: "Wow! You're brave to advertise that." I followed the car for a good five minutes before I noticed that it was a convertible.

~(10/01/08) I hate it when people are too "mushy." I was at a jewelry party one night and the hostess got a call on her cell from her husband. The phone rang with the song "You're Beautiful." I'm pretty sure I threw-up in my mouth...

~ (10/04/08) I am NOT afraid to return anything to a store if I am not completely satisfied....some of my friends take advantage of this...

~ (10/08/08) Sometimes I just sit back and listen and chuckle as my children annoy one another. Today Garet was playing the annoying "Copying Game" much to Kaleb's chagrin, I pretended I couldn't hear them as Kaleb got more and more annoyed with Garet. I remember playing that game when I was younger...

~ (10/10/08) I am a "glass half empty" kind of person.

~ (10/13/08) There is a really sharp bend down the road from my house. Every time I drive there, I turn my blinker on to indicate that I am turning that way. The second after I flip it on, I think: "Duh, where else am I going to go?? The road only goes this way." Yep, I'm that dumb driver!!

~ (11/15/08) I do some serious jamming and dancing in my car these days! Hopefully, I will refrain when I have passengers... To All: Be Warned!!
~(12/06/08) Autumn always takes it upon herself to update my blog layout and make it cute.... a big THANKS, Autumn!!